To some degree or another, we’re all creatures of habit. Even those of us that are free spirits and always running around doing different things have our habits. Some habits are small and normal and shared by many such as that morning cup or two of coffee or the morning shower. Some are more impactful such as having that smoke break at work to ease the stress or getting a workout in once you’re off the clock.
This week in Deeper Thoughts we’re going to discuss habits, how you can implement new ones, replace old ones, and where many of our habits in our adult lives stem from.
Habits come from multiple places. They become so repetitive that we don’t even think about them. We just do them. Many of them are due to programming and conditioning from our family and friends, sometimes intentionally, other times not so much. If you grew up in a home that was focused on being active and eating healthy you will grow into those habits yourself. You’re more prone to get off the couch more and be more active with walks or a gym routine. If you grow up in a home where smoking, alcoholism, or drug use is more prevalent then you’re more likely to fall into those habits yourself. This is due to the fact that these behaviors are normalized to you as you grow up.
Then there are habits you develop on your own as coping mechanisms during childhood. Things like people pleasing tendencies to gain approval or escapism to hide from problems like excess reading or video games. These habits also carry on into adulthood in some form of fashion and take work to break free from.
Then there are habits of addictions. Most of the time when we think of addictions we think of things like smoking cigarettes, marijuana, alcoholism, hardcore drugs, or gambling. But addiction can be things much society deems as “good” on the outside looking in. Addiction can be the workaholic or the overly obsessive gym goers. Addictions are forms of escapism and while having a healthy work ethic or being fit are good things, if you’re using things like this to escape your problems they’re not going to be overly helpful.
Then there are habits you’ve consciously chosen to build. You’ve realized you’re living an unhealthy lifestyle so you’ve started working out and/or eating healthier. You decided you want to learn to play that instrument you love so you start practicing every day. Overspending has been having you scraping along so you start a budget and/or savings you add to.
So to recap, our habits are our programming, intentional or unintentional. Once habits are practiced enough they are seeded into your subconscious. You do them without thinking. It’s just automatic. These deep rooted habits that are now part of your programming are harder to break. It’s just like if you’re stuck in a limited thought pattern, or in negative self-talk patterns, it takes time to break free of those cycles.
Many of you reading are well aware of your more negative habits and want to get rid of them. As cliche as it is, the first step is recognizing the pattern. Once recognizing these habits there are several routes to take to put an end to these habits.
In the case of addictions, doing the parts work needed helps tremendously. Instead of indulging in that addiction sit with the feeling you’re trying to escape from and go back as far as you can in your memories to the first time you felt that as a child. Seeing what you needed then and finding new and healthier ways to meet those needs for yourself is the key. Meeting those needs for yourself as an adult as well as finding proper support while you heal from those traumas heals the source of the addiction. Remember, addiction is a symptom to a deeper issue.
But let’s look at another scenario. You’re wanting to build a habit to improve a skill. Consistency is the key, as it is in building any new habits you may want. Let’s say you want to improve your drawing skills. Set aside time each day or every other day, let's say 30 minutes. Practice drawing the same thing each day and as you improve you move on to other drawings and build up from there. You would use this same process for most habits you want to form. It doesn’t matter if it’s playing an instrument, meditating, doing yoga, or hitting the gym. Start small and build up.
Now say you want to drop a habit. Being conscious in your choices and actions becomes key here. Say you like getting that doughnut as a sweet reward after a long day at work. Recognize and acknowledge that desire, but you can resist it.
For even better results, combining these two things will give you great results when applicable. If you’re wanting to stop habits, understand the deeper issues (if any) behind those habits and replace them with a habit you want to build. Instead of smoking that cigarette, sit and meditate, for instance. Training yourself to do the new habit you want to build instead of the old one slowly reprograms your brain to go to the new habit.
The average time for an activity to become a habit takes 21-30 days, and approximately 90 days for it to become a lifestyle. Your habits can make you, stunt you, or break you. Be intentional with the habits you have so they align you with a life you desire.
It’s important to note that trying to drop and add too many habits all at once will lead to burnout and failure. Start with one or two at a time and over time add more.
These are just a few ways to change and add new habits to your life, but there are many more. What ways have you stopped habits you wanted to end or begin new ones to improve your life? Feel free to share in the comments. Thank you as always for reading and I hope you all have an enlightening day.
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