No one is an island. Despite what many people desperately want to think, especially those of the red pill community, we are a species that is hyper dependent on others. From the cradle to the grave we need each other to survive. So this week in Deeper Thoughts let's take a look at how there are no islands amongst people in this world.
From birth we are reliant on our caretakers to provide all of our needs for us. We can’t even move on our own to keep ourselves safe. We need to be fed, washed, covered up to stay warm, and moved around. We even rely on our caretakers to interpret the limited things we can do, crying for the most part, to understand what it is we’re needing. Are we hungry? Cold or hot? Scared? Messy? Sick? We are utterly at their mercy.
As we get a little older and can finally move around on our own, and can communicate our needs with words, we’re still dependent on our caretakers to meet our needs. As young children we have food prepared for us, still require shelter, need to be taken care of when we’re sick, and to be kept safe from danger, amongst other needs.
So what about when we’re adults? Yes in adulthood we’re more capable of taking care of ourselves, but we’re still dependent on others. Yes you can cook your own food, but you’re reliant on the grocery store and the people who run it, who are in turn dependent on the companies that supply the products on the shelves, who are in turn dependent on the farmers those products originate from. You’re also dependent on your job to provide the money you need to purchase that food.
Don’t need a grocery store and can hunt and garden? Where are you getting the hunting rifle and ammunition? Do you know how to make a proper bow? Are you able to make all the tools you need from scratch for the garden? If not, you are once again dependent on companies or someone who can make those items.
You need all the people involved in providing electricity, and running water to your home. The same thing goes for your internet or TV. Who fixes your car? Many people today don’t even know how to change a battery. Where do you get the parts to fix your car? Do you go to the doctor when you’re sick or severely injured?
All of these needs we take for granted that we can go out and meet ourselves are still unbelievably dependent on other people. But this is simply on the surface level. Our need to be with other people extends far deeper than that.
We, as humans, need connection with others. We need play. We need touch. We need conversation. We need affection and communication.
This is why you see tactics for isolation take place with controlling partners. They want to cut off the other person from all other people who can provide those needs so that they rely solely on the controller to meet these needs.
This need for connection with others is so intense it will override the person’s other needs. We all have either experienced or know someone who has experienced the ending of a relationship that was so extreme they stop eating. The loss of that connection with another person is so deep that their need for sustenance is ignored. They call out of work and even avoid basic hygiene. That’s how deep the need for connection runs.
Or if they don’t go this route, that longing for the connection that’s no longer there can lead a person to heavily lean on coping mechanisms, particularly escapism. Again either you reading have or know someone who started heavy drinking or drug use after the ending of a relationship. This often leads to increasing problems in other parts of the person’s life.
This intense need for connection is why many people jump from one relationship to the next without taking the time to self evaluate what keeps going wrong in those relationships to know how to seek out better ones. That fear of being alone is so deep in the individual that they have to be in a relationship at all costs.
Many so-called spiritual gurus will tell you that you don’t have to rely on others and that you can do all your healing on your own. You can go up the mountain, so to speak, and fix all of your issues on your own. But here’s the thing. Isolating yourself, never going out, never mixing with other people isn’t healing your triggers and trauma. It’s simply avoiding them. Yes the “mountain top” is a good tool, but not the destination. You need other people around you to reflect back to you what triggers you still have.
Being in total isolation for an extended period of time causes mental stress. We’ve all seen movies of the man trapped on an island by himself who starts going mad. Ask any one who’s been in prison and had to spend extensive stays in isolation had suffered mentally from being alone so much.
There’s even health data that shows daily hugging and other forms of affection relieve stress, thus healthily affecting things like heart conditions. Connection like this helps us regulate ourselves so we can better process and respond to what we’re feeling.
At the end of the day, we all crave connection, whether we want to admit it. Yes people in today’s world can be absolutely annoying, but we still need other people. Being alone has many adverse effects. We need people, and they need us. We’re a social species. We need that connection.
Thank you for reading. I hope you all have an enlightening day and spend some time with people you love.
Comments