If you have a raging ego, it’s difficult to be an effective leader. You might know what needs to be done, yes, but if you’re easily triggered then you’re going to have a harder time leading the troops. This week in Deeper Thoughts we’re going to discuss the helpful and hurtful ego as an effective or ineffective leader.
Just like in any scenario, your relationship with your ego will affect your leadership skills. If you have a healthy ego that’s been built up from experience and that experience gives you your confidence, you’ll sail along a lot more smoothly in your role as an effective leader.
No effective leader is perfect. We all make mistakes, but the effective leader’s ego takes ownership as to their input or lack thereof that led to said failure, will look at the mistake, see the results it caused and go, “I didn’t like this outcome at all! What can I do to better prepare to reduce the risk of this mistake from happening again? What could I have done differently to yield better results and maybe even turn the situation into an advantage if something like this happens again?”
An ineffective leader’s ego will point fingers and say something like, “Well if John had done so-and-so then this wouldn’t have happened! It’s his fault!” (Don’t worry John, I think you’re doing great!)
Just as someone who has a healthy connection with their ego has used it to build up their confidence and experience, an effective leader will do the same to those who follow them. They know not to ask too much from any given worker. They recognize tasks that a person will excel at and give those tasks to them, even if it gets that person out of their comfort zone, and thus, build up that person’s confidence. If mistakes are made that are due to that follower, they’ll take ownership of that mistake, but will also walk that other person through what could have been done better, just like they do themselves. Just like with his own self, an effective leader will use a mistake as a teachable moment to the other person in a way that doesn’t belittle or embarrass them.
When you’re an ineffective leader with an ego that is easily bruised, you become emotionally reactive, be it in anger, resentment, or even crying. Whatever the reaction is, it makes it harder for you to think clearly. Those emotions filter down to those you’re leading as well, in various ways.
If you’re volatile and reacting with explosive anger, those following you are going to fear being the target of your wrath, which ultimately affects their ability to perform and get the results needed. Anger is a natural part of the human experience, but an effective leader will step back from that anger and not let it control them and instead of reacting in that anger will respond with calmness.
If you get angered and resentful and stew in silence you’re not able to give proper direction and guidance to those who need you. Many ineffective leaders will retreat to solitude to “blow off steam” and leave the team floundering about as they try to fix issues. This only causes more issues including growing distrust in you from those you’re leading. Even when upset, an effective leader will give clear and concise direction for the team to follow while also doing their part alongside everyone else.
If you become an emotional crying mess, no one is going to see you as fit to lead at all.
These are just a fraction of examples between an effective leader vs. an ineffective leader. And even these examples could be delved into deeper levels. These are some of the few overarching themes and differences I’ve seen in leadership over the years.
Your ego can build up your confidence and make you an effective leader, but you have to build its resilience. Things are going to go wrong, people are going to challenge you. You’re going to make mistakes. But you have to stay grounded and keep a clear head so you can adapt and navigate confidently for those following you.
As always, I thank you for taking the time for reading this week’s Deeper Thoughts. I hope you all have an enlightening day!
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