There’s a large percentage of people in today’s world who can’t stand being alone with themselves. And when these people are stuck with just themselves they seek distractions such as social media, tv, games, etc. Being alone and just being with their own shadow aspects scares them. If you’re one of these people, but don’t know why you’re like this, we’re going to dip our toes this week in Deeper Thoughts about a few reasons why this could be.
So many people get nervous or anxious from being by themselves because they aren’t comfortable with themselves. They don’t truly know who they are. These people may not even know what needs they truly have. They don’t know how to love themselves.
We start out thinking we do until we start to peel back the layers and realize there are parts about us we don’t like. Some already know some of these aspects about themselves and it scares them. These shadow aspects of themselves have been repressed and pushed away for years upon years instead of being integrated back into themselves. They see these aspects as flaws, ashamed of them and want to deny and push them away.
Due to our upbringing, programming, and conditioning from childhood, we want to deny these shadow aspects of ourselves. We might think it’s bad to want money because we were brought up with the mindset of “Money is the root of all evil,” when in fact money itself isn’t bad, but the manner in which you acquire it, stealing, scamming, etc., might be.
Someone might not like that deep down they’re selfish with certain things because they were brought up to be people pleasers, when in fact you need to be selfish with your energy sometimes so you can take better care of yourself. It’s perfectly fine to want to help others, but you have to help and take care of yourself first before you can be of any benefit to someone else.
Someone might realize they’re a bully and try to deny that about themselves, when in reality bullies are natural leaders, and could use that leadership in a company in more healthy manners. Or instead of using their energy to bring people down, could use it in healthier manners to build other people up such like a fitness instructor would do.
Repressing these shadow aspects seems easier than integrating them, for a time. The patterns that stem from those inner parts continue to repeat in their lives because they keep resisting. And overtime it takes a much larger toll on you because to reject these shadow aspects is ultimately to reject yourself.
If you take the time to heal and integrate these parts back into yourself you start to notice a shift inside you. Life seems a little brighter, a little easier, a little more lovable. The true shadow work and healing is uncomfortable, but you come out on the other side happier. This is because instead of rejecting yourself, you’re accepting yourself. You’re turning these shadow aspects that you once perceived as major flaws into major strengths. As a result, you’re showing yourself the self love you deserve.
It can be rough looking over your shadow aspects and realizing why they’re a part of you. Most of us are aware that they’re not perfect, but to analyze the ways and the whys of how they’re imperfect, especially the shadow aspects they’re ashamed of, makes them highly uncomfortable. It’s hard to look in the mirror and sit with these parts of ourselves.
Over time though, the process of sitting with these shadow aspects to understand them and bring them back into you in healthy ways becomes easier. You start learning your triggers and want to find out what causes it. You want to heal that part and make space for more of you.
Eventually you get excited when you find new shadow aspects because you get to learn more about yourself and get to give your fragmented parts the love they needed when the split occurred. You get to love another part of you.
These newfound understandings of yourself can eventually lead you to new things you didn’t even know about yourself. New interests and hobbies. Things that occupy your time in healthier ways. New ways to entertain yourself when you’re alone.
With this process you become comfortable being alone because you’re comfortable with who you are. Learning who you really are leads to self love. Hopefully this article will help you look into ways of integrating your shadow aspects and use them as tools to elevate yourself instead of rejecting them and yourself, because they are in fact, a part of you.
Thank you, as always, for reading. I hope you all have an enlightening day.
Comments