This week I decided to talk about the trap many people fall into when they get into spirituality. They get stuck into the Positive Focus Only Loop. And it's understandable because it feels good to only look at the positive things in life, plus so many so called "gurus" cram this practice down our throats every day and pretty much just stick to it.
Now I want to start out by saying positive focus is a great tool…when used correctly. Positive focus is great for getting yourself out of a negative feedback loop. Negative mindset equals a scarcity mindset, which will make the manifestations you want harder to take form.
When you actively take the time to filter out a negative thought and replace it with a positive one, you create new pathways in your mind that change your way of thinking. Over time the frequency of these negative thoughts will lessen. You’re literally rewiring your brain to look for the positives in situations. Over time this brings you from a scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset. It helps raise your frequency.
I’ve personally used this tool to help change the way I think. When a negative thought would arise, usually from my inner critic, I would reject that thought and replace it with a positive one that was in relation to the original thought. After about three months my subconscious brain was slowly being reprogrammed. I didn’t fall into the trap, but for awhile I didn’t utilize the proper technique that a person needs to heal the deeper origin of those thoughts. I’ll discuss more on that later.
Some thoughts, although the emotional roots of them are valid (often triggered from childhood trauma in some way), are not as “extreme.” An example of this is say you’re a server and you forget to get that extra side of ranch to your table (and I’m speaking from experience here) you think “Damn it! I forgot to get the ranch! I’m so stupid!” Stop and think, “No, I reject that thought. I’m a strong server and I’m usually always on point with my tables. I simply made a mistake and I need to be more mindful.” This is a great example of when to use the Positive Focus Tool.
Now that we’ve talked about how positive focus can be an instrumental tool, let’s discuss its shadow side. This occurs when we focus on positivity, but choose to be blind to reality. Reality is what it is. Can it be changed? Of course! But that takes time.
If my finger gets cut off in an accident, thinking about the salmon I had at a restaurant that day doesn’t make my day better. Yeah it might have been some good salmon but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m missing a finger and I’m bleeding out. This is an extreme example, but you see my point. More realistic examples of this pitfall can include, “We’re three months behind on rent and I just lost my job, but at least I have a loving family,” “My wife is unhappy in our marriage, but I’m really proud of the new car I bought,” “My son keeps asking me to spend more time with him, but the money I’m making with this new job will be worth time away from my family.” You get where I’m going with this.
Another point to make about this pitfall, the law of resistance. If you are constantly battling the same negative thought without finding and healing the source of it, you’re going to encounter resistance. And as the saying goes, “What you resist, persists.” Being in denial, consciously or subconsciously will create resistance. The issues you might be dealing with will start out like pushing a board. But the more you resist your thoughts and emotions the resistance increases. Soon it will be like pushing on a brick wall, then a boulder, then a mountain. If you don’t face your problems then the universe will end up forcing you to face it.
It doesn’t matter how loving your family is, they’re going to leave you if you aren’t being a provider. Unless your wife is SUPER materialistic, that new car isn’t going to make her happy. Your kids don’t care about your work. They want their mother and father, and an absentee parent WILL create problems as they grow up, even if they aren’t obvious.
Many spiritual teachers and practitioners push this positive thought exercise to the point that it becomes detrimental. It does have it’s uses. It’s a great tool to help retrain your brain to pull yourself out of a scarcity mindset. It’s great for increasing gratitude. But when you use it and are in complete denial about your circumstances you are more than likely going to create worse problems than what your current situation is at the moment.
The best course of action when negative thoughts enter your mind is to sit with the thought. Go within yourself and ask why you’re having that thought. Go deep. Find that inner child that was traumatized. Sit with that child. Give it the love and care you needed at that time. Find out what its needs are and figure out how to provide them. As you integrate these parts of you you heal.
Many people stay stuck in this constant positive focus loop and ignore reality because it becomes another coping mechanism for them to escape from their lives. Facing reality can be painful, especially if we're the one causing our problems, but when we are, there's always a deeper meaning. Healing is a lot of work, and not many people are willing to do the real work. Positive focus is merely one tool in the box. You can't build a house with just a hammer. You need other tools to get the job done.
Positive focus is a surface level practice. It has it's uses, but by itself it's nothing more than a tiny band aid that's not going to heal the problem or prevent what's actually going on to get worse. If you're constantly having these negative thoughts and experiences, you need to get to the root of the issue instead of pushing the feelings and thoughts away. It's a great tool for avoiding negative thought loops, but that's just the start of the healing journey. You gotta go deeper if you want to truly heal. Healing and Spirituality isn't always sunshine, rainbows, and unicorn farts.
I hope some of you found this article helpful. Thank you for your time, and as always, having an enlightening day.
Comments